Vanessa and Kandace
Mentor
Vanessa D’Amato works as a Client Assistant at Allianz. She was born in the Bronx and holds a BA from Felician College. Vanessa got involved with iMentor in 2006 while she was working at UBS, one of iMentor’s corporate partners. Vanessa was excited about signing up with iMentor, because she believed that the organization offered a unique opportunity to support high school students, regardless of her busy schedule. She enjoyed the program so much that she joined the Young Executive Board, a volunteer advisory committee, in 2008. In addition to iMentor, Vanessa volunteers with Caritas Internationalis, an NGO. She hopes to one day start her own NGO educating women and children in developing countries.
Mentee
Kandace is a bright, ambitious student who was born and raised in the South Bronx. The eldest of three siblings, Kandace takes on a lot of responsibility at home. Kandace recently graduated from Bronx Academy of Letters (BAL) and will be attending John Jay College of Criminal Justice in fall. She will be the first person in her family to earn a Bachelors degree. Kandace plans on studying criminal justice and dreams of one day working for the FBI.
Building Trust
Kandace was matched with Vanessa during her junior year at BAL. She had never had a mentor before and did not know what to expect. Kandace remembers being shy and reserved when she was first introduced to Vanessa. She was not used to meeting new people, and it took her time to trust people outside of her circle of friends and family. When Kandace met Vanessa, however, she realized that she and her mentor had a lot in common. She recalls “At first, I was scared to meet Vanessa, because I did not meet new people often. But as we got to talking, I realized that she went through a lot of the same experiences I am going through when she was my age.”
Vanessa believes that iMentor did a great job matching her with her mentee. While the two may appear to come from different backgrounds, they have similar ambitions, fears and goals. They both grew up in the Bronx and approach challenges in similar ways. They even enjoy the same foods and television shows! Vanessa says “When I met Kandace, I was excited, because I thought—this person is exactly like me.” Kandace agrees. “Vanessa reminds me of myself,” she adds.
Providing Support
Over the next two years, Vanessa provided Kandace with support as she excelled in school, researched college options, took standardized tests and applied to college. Every week, Vanessa emailed Kandace to check in about how school was going. Vanessa also helped Kandace prepare her resume and other college application materials. Vanessa was there to celebrate with Kandace on her graduation day and has continued to provide support as her mentee has prepared to start college. Kandace is taking summer classes at John Jay before her freshman year officially begins, and Vanessa has continued to check in about her progress, helping her work through challenges that have arisen. Kandace describes the impact of Vanessa’s support: “My mentor gives me support in school and lets me know I can succeed. With her support,nothing can get me down. She lifts me up when I’m down and keeps me motivated. I know that as the year moves on and college gets tougher, she will still give me the motivation I need.”
Learning from Each Other
Kandace believes that her relationship with Vanessa has helped her become more confident, trusting and outgoing. Before meeting Vanessa, it was difficult for Kandace to open up because of some difficult experiences in her life. Learning to confide in Vanessa and being exposed to new experiences through iMentor has helped Kandace work through these trust issues. Kandace says “Being matched with Vanessa through iMentor has influenced the way I see other people. I can tell her anything. Before, the only people I could confide in were my best friend and my mother. It means so much to have someone else who is close to me. Vanessa is mature and has a different perspective—she can give me the advice that I need.”
Vanessa has also learned a great deal from Kandace. She says: “As much as the students say we give back to them, they give so much more back to us. My mentee has molded me into a better version of who I am. As much as I mentor Kandace, she mentors me. I’ve learned new things and grown with her. Learning is what mentoring is about.”
iMentor’s Role
iMentor has played a crucial role in allowing Kandace and Vanessa to build a strong, mutually-supportive mentoring relationship. As a busy professional involved with several volunteer activities, Vanessa would not have had the time to get involved without iMentor’s flexible structure. Exchanging emails on a weekly basis and meeting in person monthly helped Kandace and Vanessa trust each other, especially at the beginning, when Kandace was hesitant to open up to her mentor. Amy Cruz, an iMentor Program Coordinator, served as a guide that helped the pair solidify their relationship. Vanessa describes iMentor’s impact: “iMentor is a fantastic organization that allows you to open both a student’s eyes and your own eyes to new opportunities. The organization provided a rewarding and exciting opportunity to see my mentee grow.”
Looking into the Future
Kandace and Vanessa look forward to continuing their relationship as Kandace enters college. Many things about their relationship will change next year. Instead of sending emails during a weekly iMentor session at school, Kandace will email Vanessa between college classes. Rather than attending iMentor events with Kandace’s BAL classmates, the pair will meet independently. Kandace will face new challenges in college, taking on new levels of academic, financial and personal responsibility. Vanessa will also face new challenges as a mentor. While the two will miss iMentor’s traditional structure, they are excited to see their relationship mature as Kandace enters a new phase in life. iMentor has provided the pair with the tools and resources they need to develop an independent, mature relationship. “No matter where I go,” says Kandace, “I will always have my mentor in my life and be in contact with her.”
