iMentor Skills for Career Advancement (SCA) Workshop Series

SESSION #6: The Art of Conversation in Professional Settings (S.L.A.P)

(*Courtesy of Legal Outreach)

There are four key components of being a good conversationalist, which you can remember with the following letters -- SLAP:

• Self-assurance
• Listening
• Awareness
• Presence

Self-Assurance

• Start with the assumption that you’re interesting and people want to know about you. People will not discover the real you through a formal description or resume, but only through discussion and interaction.
• Dismiss any fears about saying the wrong thing. Open your mouth and speak with confidence. But always be ready to explain the reasons for your beliefs and answers.
• Be inquisitive -- view every interaction as an opportunity to learn something new or confirm what you think you know.
• Be honest with your conversations. Don’t make things up. If you don’t know something, ask a question to clarify and improve your understanding

Listening -- “A good conversationalist remembers what was said.”

• Remember what you hear.
  • Remember speaker’s name (you can repeat it back to them, or ask again if you forget)
  • Focus on the content
  • Make eye contact
  • Take mental notes
• Based on what you hear, elaborate, define, and/or distinguish.
  • Catch key words and make associations
  • Build on what’s given, add your own experience, and focus on specific sub-issues
• For example: If the speaker says, “I attended a prep school during my high school years,” some possible sub-topics to build the conversation might include: (a) Virtues of being away vs. being home, (b) living in the suburbs vs. the city, or (c) opportunities in prep schools vs. public school.

Awarenes

• If you are interviewing, make sure you are aware about the company and position for which you are interviewing.
• In conversation, always seek to be socially and politically aware.
• Read newspapers (the New York Times is a very good source and is available online for free), or watch the news on television, so you can be aware of topics being discussed
• Interweave social and political topics into conversation or use them as social ice breakers. (i.e., “I read an article in the NY Times today… what do you think about that?”)
• There are some topics that are always “safe” to talk about, including:
  • Sports
  • Mutual friends
  • Weather (hot, cold, mild)
  • Hobbies, interests
  • Work assignments
  • Social situations, i.e., “Isn’t this a nice luncheon?

   

Presence

• Watch the quality of your voice -- be aware of things like accent, tone, clarity, and speed, and do your best to make sure you are being understood.
• Pay attention to vocabulary -- try to ensure correct usage of words and grammar (stay away from slang), and minimize using “filler sounds” (“um” or “uh,” etc.).
• Mind your body language -- use a firm handshake and maintain good posture and eye contact. No head scratching, hands shaking, rocking back and forth, etc.
• Be aware of your facial expressions -- always smile and appear interested. No frowns, rolling of eyes, sucking of teeth, etc.